Florida Catholic | Respect Life

Reflection, training help women who have had abortions and those who serve them

CARLOS BRICENO | FLORIDA CATHOLIC ST. PETERSBURG BUREAU EDITOR

Published: 10.05.07

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For those who have gone through an abortion or want more information about ways to help themselves through the grieving process, contact Project Rachel within the state of Florida at 1-877-908-1212. Or, to attend a retreat, contact Rachel’s Vineyard Ministries,
1-877-HOPE-4-ME
(1-877-467-3463) or
www.rachelsvineyard.org.
The National Office of Post-Abortion Reconciliation and Healing can be reached at 414-483-4141 or 1-800-5WE-CARE.

TAMPA — She was 16 when she had her abortion.

For years she felt guilt, shame and self-loathing and couldn’t talk to anyone about it. The pain remained buried deep within her.

Many people think abortion is "innocuous," said Cheryl, 44, from Melbourne, who asked that her last name not be used to protect her privacy. "They think you have an abortion and it’s just a procedure, and you move on. That’s what I thought when I went into it. It wasn’t until after I had gone through the abortion that (I realized that) it affected me tremendously, and I didn’t know who to turn to. I didn’t realize so much of my self-destructive behavior stemmed from that for 27 years."

Two years ago, she went into therapy, but decided she needed something else, something deeper. Although she is not Catholic and does not consider herself religious, she said she is spiritual. So she looked on the Internet and found a retreat in the Tampa area sponsored by Rachel’s Vineyard, which is offered to men and women who have struggled with the emotional or spiritual pain of an abortion.

After she attended the retreat during the spring, she said she felt that her "dark secret" had been released and felt that she was finally starting on the path to being healed.

One of the obstacles many women face to overcoming their grief of losing a child — especially when it concerns abortion — is the sense of shame that inhibits them from grieving the loss, said Emma Boe, the director of life services for Catholic Charities in the Diocese of St. Petersburg.

That is why the respect life committee of St. Timothy’s Parish in Lutz, along with Project Rachel, a post-abortion healing ministry of the church, are sponsoring a "night of reflection," for men and women who have been affected by pregnancy loss, either through miscarriage, abortion or stillbirth, she said.

The night, which will be Monday, Oct. 8, 7 p.m., at St. Timothy and is open to non-Catholics, will include Scripture readings, spiritual meditations and reflections, and a memorial presentation to assist individuals on their healing journey. " The sacraments of anointing of the sick and reconciliation will be available," said Boe.

"For some, it’s a means of closure," she said. "For others, it’s an opening of a door for further healing."

Colleen, who also asked that her last name not be used, is Catholic and used to live in Orlando, but now lives in Denver. She attended a Rachel’s Vineyard retreat two years ago after she saw it advertised in the bulletin at her Orlando parish.

She said the value of seeing other people who are mourning a loss of a child — such as those who will gather during the upcoming night of reflection — is vital in helping someone along in their grieving and healing process.

"If you are surrounded by so many people who have experienced loss," said Colleen, "it might make you feel more comfortable to pursue healing with that loss. … If you feel that you’re with a group of people, you are less likely to feel ashamed of the loss."

Another upcoming event, as part of October’s Respect Life Month activities, is also designed to help people understand the pain and suffering involved in abortions, said Boe.

A clinical training seminar will be held Friday, Oct. 12, from 8:30 a.m. until 5 p.m., at the Quorum Hotel in Tampa for physicians, pastors, nurses, therapists, counselors, social workers, women who are post-abortive, students and anyone else interested in helping people deal with abortion. It is a prelude to the Statewide Florida Respect Life Conference, which will take place at the same hotel Friday evening Oct. 12 through Sunday, Oct. 14.

Sponsored by Catholic Charities and St. Joseph’s Hospital and titled “Pregnancy Loss and Unresolved Grief,” the Friday seminar will offer participants a chance to build and strengthen a foundation for them to help others heal after abortions, she said. Some of the objectives include an outline of the symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder as they relate to pregnancy loss; how pregnancy loss may be a contributing factor in depression, anxiety, eating disorders or marriage and family problems; and promoting an awareness of some of the grief issues following an abortion to provide hope and healing.

Boe said she hopes the impact of both the upcoming events will lead to healing for those who are grieving the loss of a child.

"Our church loves a sinner," she said. "That’s what Christ calls us to do: to love the sinner. The church is that hospital for those that are in pain. We are not a hotel for saints. … One out of every eight sitting in our pews are affected by an abortion, (which) means that we have a lot of hurting people out there."

St. Timothy Parish is at 17512 Lakeshore Road, Lutz. To register for the Oct. 8 night of reflection there, e-mail nightofreflection@verizon.net, or call 813-908-5622 or 813-969-1655. The registration fee for the Oct. 12 seminar is $50; please call 813-631-4370 to register. The Quorum Hotel is at 700 N. Westshore Blvd., Tampa.

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Reflection, training help women who have had abortions and those who serve them

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