Florida Catholic | High Prices Turns Tables On Generous Family

High prices turns tables on generous family

JANET SHELTON | FLORIDA CATHOLIC ST. PETERSBURG BUREAU EDITOR

Published: 07.16.08

ST. PETERSBURG | Most Sundays, Ellen Mejias’ six children climb into the family’s Astro van and take the trip from their home in Land O’Lakes to San Antonio so the family can celebrate Mass at St. Anthony of Padua Parish.

But on a recent Sunday, the children’s mother had strange news. The family would be saying prayers at home that day. The Astro didn’t have enough gas.

“We couldn’t make it to church this Sunday because we didn’t have the gas for the van,” Mejias said. “My son said, ‘Can we ride our bikes?’”

The gas and food crises are just the latest smack in this family’s fight for financial survival. The Mejiases took their first hit for love, a second blow from bureaucracy and a knockout punch from a dismal economy.

Although its initial effects were delayed, the downward spiral got its start about 10 years ago, when Mejias, then a volunteer for the parish’s Society of St. Vincent de Paul, was asked if she could mentor a mother with young children.

“One of the first clients we assisted was a young woman with four children whose husband had left her. The kids were 16 months, 2½, 3 and 4.” Mejias said. “I had four children.”

Mejias tried to be a role model, but the woman’s life continued to unravel. When she landed in jail, she asked Mejias to care for her youngest daughter so the girl would not remain in foster care. Mejias did, but the baby had problems.

“She was severely neglected. She couldn’t talk, couldn’t walk. My pediatrician said she was at the (developmental) age of a 9-month-old,” Mejias said. “Through the grace of God, she recovered.”

Time went on and the mother asked Mejias to take a second child; the relative caring for the girl did not want to continue with that responsibility. The Mejiases welcomed the child.

“We didn’t have anything to begin with,” Mejias said, “but we felt this was what God was telling us to do.”

With their children attending Catholic school, the Mejiases were in a tough financial position. Holding on to faith, they struggled along – adding debt to an overburdened budget in the belief that things would improve. Their youngest children, however, needed significant developmental help and their medical bills were extensive. The family did not qualify for state assistance because they were considered “friends” of the family. To provide medical care, the Mejiases went into their savings and borrowed on her husband’s IRA. At one point, they feared their finances would force them to give up the two little girls.

“We didn’t want to do it, but we couldn’t make it financially anymore,” Mejias explained.

A small miracle pulled them through: The girls’ caseworker told the Mejiases that if they became foster parents, they could receive financial help. After an initial investment to conform their home to foster home regulations, the family received assistance.

They were doing OK until the mother decided her children could be adopted. Now the family found themselves in another difficult position. Unable emotionally to give up their two youngest children, the Mejiases shouldered the costs of adoption and lost the stipend and other benefits given to foster parents.

Their children now are 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and 6.

Although much of their story is unusual, the Mejiases also are facing the same economic issues burdening all Americans. Fresh fruit and vegetables have given way to lots of peanut butter sandwiches. Gas is used only for necessary trips, such as the trek to Tampa so Mejias can help her 83-year-old mom. Mejias, who once helped others as a Vincentian, too often finds herself in the difficult position of having to accept help from others.

“(My husband) is making a good salary, but because of the credit bills (we struggle),” she said. “We’re looking at what we can sell, what we can do just to get through the end of the month.”

The family is making do by doing without, and on that one Sunday, doing without included Jesus in the Eucharist. Still, Mejias says she’s grateful.

“We’re so grateful for what we have,” she said. “I don’t know how my husband and I get through it some days, except we start each day with a prayer: ‘Keep us healthy and keep us here for the kids.’”

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