Florida Catholic | What Have You Done For Your Marriage?

U.S. bishops Internet site, "For Your Marriage" is fun and fact filled.

ORLANDO | What have you done for your marriage today?

That’s the catchphrase running around the nation, prompted by a campaign initiated by the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops titled, “For Your Marriage.” For Your Marriage seeks to raise public awareness of the benefits, challenges and sacredness of matrimony. The crusade is making its way into diocesan offices, individual parishes and, with the addition of its new Web site, www.foryourmarriage.org, is within reach of wedded couples everywhere.

The initiative, prompted by rising cohabitation, widespread divorce and decreasing marriage rates, began when the bishops voted to make marriage a priority in November 2004, said Sheila Garcia, associate director of the USCCB’s Secretariat for Family, Laity, Women and Youth.

The initial phase included research from national data, interviewing couples and soliciting input from family-life professionals, said Garcia.

“The studies support that a stable marriage is better for parents, children and the community,” she said. But many couples today are choosing alternative lifestyles.

“There’s a cause for concern,” added Garcia. “We believe that the church has something positive to say about marriage and we wanted to get it out there.”

Focus groups were formed, with couples of all ages and stages. “We discussed the whole issue of commitment and what that means,” said Garcia. “We asked how they live their marriage. How does church teaching help them? How does it challenge them?”

Tom and Mary Ann Vickers of Blessed Sacrament Catholic Church in Tallahassee participated.

“We were asked questions and we gave frank opinions,” said Tom Vickers, with a chuckle. “It was nice to have somebody ask our opinion. When you’ve been married 40-plus years, you’ve either figured it out or you never will.”

“We talked about marriage as a vocation,” added Mary Ann Vickers. “My vocation is a permanent thing. It’s just as important as a religious vocation.”

Patricia Garcia, assistant director for digital media at the USCCB, evaluated the research.

“We found people appreciate the value of marriage and are willing to talk about it,” she said. “We discovered they didn’t really want to hear negative statistics. They wanted to focus on the positive. They wanted to work on marriage, but in baby steps.”

Garcia said participants liked it when something as simple as making the bed was a notable contribution to the marriage. “They see that and think, ‘Hey, that’s something I can do,’” she said.

The second phase of the initiative, involving online and media communications, is under way. The Web site was launched in July 2007.

“We wanted to acknowledge the ups and downs and ordinariness of marriage,” said Sheila Garcia. “We wanted to tell couples that no matter how hard it is to make a lifetime commitment, it can be done and you’re not on your own to do it.”

At the Web site, readers can find daily marriage tips, fun quizzes designed to stimulate communication and newsworthy articles about marriage. The Web page includes sections on preparing and caring for your marriage, as well as information about the sacrament from a Catholic perspective.

“The goal is to educate,” Sheila Garcia added. “There’s a lot of misinformation out there. On this Web site we have a reliable source — the USCCB.”

In addition, 153 television and radio stations have aired more than 6,000 public service announcements nationwide, including Florida cities such as Jacksonville, Miami and Lake Mary.

The announcements portray spontaneous responses from couples on the street who were asked, “What have you done for your marriage today?”

“Some people said, ‘Uh, oh. I guess I need to do something!’” said the USCCB’s Patricia Garcia, who oversaw development of the public service announcements.

In the broadcasts, one man said he held his wife’s pocketbook. A woman claimed she gave her husband a really big hug. Another said she carried her spouse’s silverware to the table.

“When couples are young and in love they don’t think they’ll have to work at marriage,” said Janice Petersen Minshew, director of Office of Marriage and Family Life in the Diocese of Palm Beach. “They don’t understand that life intrudes and many challenges come up. There are stages and a life cycle within a marriage. The For Your Marriage messages are simple and positive.”

The Diocese of Palm Beach’s Web page links users with the For Your Marriage Web site, where the PSAs can also be viewed.

“I learn visually, so I like the PSAs,” added Minshew. “They deal with real people in real situations.”

Louise Ritz, director of the Department of Marriage and Family Life in the Diocese of Pensacola-Tallahassee, applauds the Web site’s ability to direct couples to local diocesan programs for marriage enrichment, as well.

“It’s a great connection,” she said. “Anyone who comes to the Web site can see what’s happening locally. We’re sending a message that the Catholic Church is very concerned and wants marriage to succeed.”

Ritz said parishes within the diocese are working together to emphasize the sacrament of matrimony. “We offer a variety of marriage enrichment programs,” she said.

Heidi Peckham, head of the Pastoral Ministries Secretariat for the Diocese of Orlando, praised the Web site for its “little insights.”

“It offers simple tools, such as kissing your husband to wish him a good morning or sharing lunch together. It’s nothing big. You don’t have to sell your house and move away.”

Another phase of the project is yet to come. “The Web site is the centerpiece of the initiative, but it’s not the only part,” said Sheila Garcia of the USCCB.

In November 2008, the bishops will issue a pastoral letter underscoring the importance of marriage. Deacon Bill Ladroga, director of ministries in the Diocese of Venice, anticipates the upcoming pastoral letter to be a source of guidance and direction. helping to develop resources and applications.

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