Florida Catholic | Bishop Barbarito's Column

The bright sunshine of darkness

OCTOBER 12, 2007

During the month of October we celebrate the feasts of two great saints and doctors of the church: St Thérèse of Lisieux, the Little Flower, and St. Teresa of Avila. Both of these women, although different in their backgrounds and the times in which they lived, are well known for their heroic sanctity and their insights into the spiritual life. Perhaps what is not so well known is that both of them suffered tremendous feelings of abandonment by God, as well as a resulting deep and dark desolation. They both wrote about their experiences which, far from detracting from their sanctity, led to it.

"God does not ask us to be successful but faithful."
- MOTHER TERESA OF CALCUTTA

Last month, on Sept. 5, we commemorated the 10th anniversary of the death of another great Teresa in the life of the church: Mother Teresa of Calcutta. A Nobel Prize recipient who founded the Missionaries of Charity, Mother Teresa poured out her life for the Gospel in service to the poorest of the poor. She continues to be a radiance of light for our society and an inspiration for all walks of life. Her presence was a source of joy to all who encountered her. Well known for her wisdom that “God does not ask us to be successful but faithful,” Mother Teresa was a model of faithfulness and in this was her success. What is not so well known about her is that for almost 50 years she also suffered feelings of abandonment by God. Her success is perhaps most revealed in her bearing faithfully this interior suffering, much like the other two Theresas.

On the occasion of the 10th anniversary of her leaving this world, the postulator of her cause for sainthood, Father Brian Kolodiejchuk, M.C., published, with commentary, personal letters of Mother Teresa. His work is titled “Come Be My Light.” Mother Teresa wrote these letters to her closest confidants and spiritual advisers over the decades. The letters express a depth of spirituality shared by all the saints, as well as the spiritual darkness experienced by some of them. Among these saints are St. Thérèse of Lisieux, St. Teresa of Avila, St. Jane Frances de Chantal, St. John of the Cross and St. Paul of the Cross, to name but a few. This darkness in the lives of the saints became a brilliant light for others on their road to God. Mother Teresa poetically expresses this light with the words, “With me the sunshine of darkness is bright.” As a believer reads “Come Be My Light,” he or she cannot help but be deeply moved by Mother Teresa’s faithfulness, sanctity and intimate love for the person of Jesus Christ.

Within less than two weeks of its publication, Come Be My Light was on the best-seller list. That may be due to the media attention which the publication of the book drew. While much of the attention was positive, not all was so. Some revealed a lack of understanding of the spiritual life and tried to sensationalize Mother Teresa as having a “50-year crisis of faith.” One editorial letter stated that, “her faith and happiness may not have been all that they seemed.” Others were even more negative. One atheist had the uninformed audacity to write that “Mother Teresa’s international crusade against divorce, abortion and contraception was the tribute that doubt paid to certainty: a strenuous and almost hysterical effort to drown out the awful fear of ‘absence.’”

The impression that Mother Teresa experienced what might be popularly termed a crisis of faith is simply not the case. The spiritual experience of darkness and desolation can lead to temptation to doubt one’s faith. However, not to accede to the temptation and to persevere faithfully in its face is a tribute to one’s faith. Furthermore, by embracing her feelings of abandonment, Mother Teresa was able to enter more deeply into the abandonment which Jesus allowed himself to experience on the cross. She entered into the surrendering love which the Son eternally has for the Father, made manifest for our sake on Golgotha. Her own words are moving testimony of this, “If my separation from you — brings others to you and in their love you find joy and pleasure — why Jesus, I am willing with all my heart to suffer all that I suffer — not only now — but for all eternity — if this was possible. Your happiness is all that I want.”

These are not bitter words of doubt but those of complete love for God. They also express, from a psychological perspective, a yearning for union with God so intense that it could not be satisfied by any earthly experience. She felt empty without the full union only heaven can bring.

Mother Teresa was not insincere because she did not always experience the joy of God’s presence while bringing it to others. She was filled with his presence, sacrificing the feeling of deep joy this can bring, yet being the instrument of God’s presence for others. The authenticity of this saintly woman is that she truly exuded not herself and her joy, but God’s. She endured faithfully this sacrifice in a most prayerful and grace-filled manner. She writes, “Let him do with me whatever he wants for as long as he wants. If my darkness is light to some soul — even if it be nothing to nobody — I am perfectly happy — to be God’s flower in the field.”

What Mother Teresa experienced is no different from that of her namesake, St. Thérèse of Lisieux. The Little Flower wrote of her inner suffering, “He allowed my soul to be invaded by the thickest darkness, and the thought of heaven, which up until then had been so sweet to me, to be only a cause of struggle and torment. This trial was to last not a few days or a few weeks, it would end only at the hour set by God himself and … this hour has not yet come. I would like to be able to put into words what I feel, but alas! I believe this is impossible. One would have to travel through this dark tunnel to understand its darkness.” St. Thérèse of Lisieux embraced this suffering, while being a source of God’s joy to others. She abandoned herself to a “night of nothingness” in order that, as she expressed in her poem, “An Unpetalled Rose,” she “might be no more to show that I love you.”

Another saint who experienced the desolation of St. Thérèse and Mother Teresa was St. Paul of the Cross. Because of her short life, the Little Flower’s suffering was brief next to Mother Teresa’s. However, St. Paul of the Cross endured his suffering for almost 50 years, similar to Mother Teresa. His acceptance of desolation merited him the title “Prince of the Desolate.” His willingness to share in the abandonment of Christ enabled him to utter such words as, “I am in a complete — more than complete — troublesome state, in horrible darkness and endless miseries.”

St. Jane Frances de Chantal was another saint who experienced one of the longest periods of spiritual darkness and desolation. She suffered for some 40 years, but always with tremendous courage and a complete embrace of her condition. She also radiated to others the light of the presence of God within her while often feeling a deep sense of darkness. Her spiritual director, St. Francis deSales, wrote to her, “You have described your suffering very well and need do nothing more than you are already doing. … Assure Our Lord, even aloud or sometimes in song, that you are willing to endure a living death and be nourished as though you were dead, that is, without taste or feeling of awareness.”

Mother Teresa’s letters reveal to us, like the writings of these other saints, a mystical love and longing for God with an unparalleled faith. They further reflect the sunshine of her faithfulness and sanctity. While we can identify with her in her suffering on many levels, only the most mystical of saints can identify with the depth of her faith. In short, she endured a bright sunshine of darkness so the rest of us might know the joy of God’s presence and not be discouraged when we feel a lack of it. She sacrificed as Christ sacrificed for us. Few are called to sacrifice as she did, but it only strengthens our faith to know some did.

The month of October is dedicated to the awareness of a greater respect for the gift of life. Mother Teresa lived that respect, not only in her staunch opposition to abortion, but through her example and care for life at all stages. May that example enable all of us to be staunch in our defense of life and to be grateful for the gift of life and faith Mother Teresa so generously shared with all of us. She allowed her darkness to be our bright sunshine!

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