Florida Catholic | Archbishop Favalora's Column

Why we must honor fidelity

Published: 02.22.08

Both the ‘throw-away’ and ‘me-first’ philosophies have resulted in several generations of adults who find it difficult to make and keep commitments.

My dear friends,

Every year around Valentine’s Day, we celebrate married love by honoring couples who are marking 25, 50 or more years of marriage. We did that this past weekend, Feb. 16.

Every year we also celebrate religious life by honoring men and women who are marking 25, 50 or more years of religious profession. That ceremony took place Feb. 3.

During the chrism Mass on Tuesday of Holy Week, we will honor all the priests who are marking 25, 50 or more years of ordination.

Because the three ceremonies are taking place within a relatively short period of time this year, it struck me more than ever that there is a gap in anniversaries among all three groups. We have a lot of couples, priests and religious celebrating 50, 60 or more years of vows, and relatively few marking 25 years.

That, I think, is a sad testament to the world in which we live. Many have described ours as a “throw-away” society where everything is disposable. We no longer save or repair things. We throw them out and buy new ones.

The last part of the 20th century also gave us the “me-first” generation. These were kids raised in a land of plenty by parents who had been advised, in a sense, to “spare the rod and spoil the child” so as not to bruise their sons’ and daughters’ egos or damage their self-esteem. These children were given the mistaken impression that they are entitled to happiness every day and every moment of their lives.

Both the “throw-away” and “me-first” philosophies have resulted in several generations of adults who find it difficult to make and keep commitments. Rather than repairing relationships, they are continually on the lookout for the “next best thing” — be it a television set, or a spouse or a way of life.

Granted, these are generalizations. But what else can account for the fact that about half of marriages end in divorce today, something unheard of in the first half of the 20th century? Why are vocations to the priesthood and religious life a minimal percentage of what they were in the 1950s and why do even those who feel called to be priests or religious often leave the ministry after a few years?

To combat these trends, I think it is vitally important that we honor and hold up as role models for our children all those people in any state of life who have kept their vows throughout the years.

They will be the first to tell you that not every day was easy; that their success is due more to steadfast perseverance than transitory feelings; and that it took a lot of faith, either in their spouse or in God’s plan for their lives.

They also will tell you — and studies have confirmed this in married couples — that persevering through the difficult times made their marriage or their ministry that much better in the long run.

That is a message the younger generations need to hear amid the modern din of selfishness, secularism and disposability.

I pray that God will bless all who have kept their vows and that our young people will learn that true happiness lies not in the “next best thing,” but in a faithfulness that emulates God’s own fidelity toward his people.

Why we must honor fidelity

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