Florida Catholic | Obituary

OBITUARY

Kaye O’Bara, 80

The devoted mother promised her daughter she would never leave her side. Only death made her renege on that promise.

ANA RODRIGUEZ-SOTO | FLORIDA CATHOLIC MIAMI BUREAU EDITOR

Published: 03.10.08

Kaye O’Bara talks with students from St. Mark School in Southwest Ranches who brought a birthday cake for her daughter, Edwarda, last April.
MARLENE QUARONI | FC FILE 2007

Birthday cake and $3,000

MIAMI | Kaye O’Bara who devoted the last 38 years of her life to single-handedly caring at home for her comatose daughter died in her sleep March 6 of natural causes.

Kaye O’Bara was 80. Her daughter, Edwarda, will celebrate her 54th birthday March 27. She has been in a coma since age 16.

“Kaye was a shining example of what it means to be a mother, a teacher and a faithful Catholic,” said Joan Crown, archdiocesan director of respect life. “She embraced the teachings of her church and never gave in to the calls of many to end the life of her daughter through euthanasia. She taught all of us how we are called to live our faith — to defend those who cannot defend themselves.”

O’Bara slept in a twin bed next to her daughter and never got more than 90 minutes of sleep at a time. She fed Edwarda through a tube and turned her every two hours to prevent bedsores.

She lived on Social Security and Veteran’s Administration benefits earned through her husband, Joe, a teacher who died in 1977. At one point, O’Bara had as many as seven mortgages on her house: because Edwarda is not institutionalized, she receives no government benefits.

“Edwarda falls through the cracks in the system,” Kaye told the Florida Catholic last year. “So I rely on faith. If you don’t have faith, you don’t have anything.”

O’Bara had been a teacher herself before retiring to care for her daughter. She taught at St. Rose of Lima School and Notre Dame Academy (now part of Archbishop Curley Notre Dame High School).

O’Bara had made a promise to her daughter as the frightened young woman slipped in and out of consciousness before lapsing into the coma.

“Promise you won’t leave me, will you, mommy?” Edwarda asked.

“Of course not, I would never leave you, darling, I promise. And a promise is a promise,” Kaye had responded.

“I was struck by her commitment to her child but mostly her commitment to the right to life,” said Pat Usyk, development director at St. Gregory Parish in Plantation who formerly held the same post at St. Rose of Lima Parish in Miami Shores, where the O’Baras attended.

The family’s financial burdens were alleviated by the frequent fundraisers put on by friends, parishioners and groups such as the Knights of Columbus throughout the years.

“The people at St. Rose of Lima were totally dedicated to her cause of taking care of her daughter,” Usyk said. “I was so impressed when I first went there by the amount of dedication and love they showered on her. They were wonderful parishioners and a tremendous help to her.”

“She certainly went right to God with her hands full. Her hands were full of love, the love of her daughter,” said Sister Margaret Gradl, an Immaculate Heart of Mary sister who served as principal at St. Rose of Lima School more than 20 years ago, when she was known as Sister Anne Bernard.

Sister Gradl added that O’Bara “may be able to do more for her daughter where she is now than she ever could. We have to believe that.”

The family said they plan to continue caring for Edwarda at home. Kaye is survived by another daughter, Colleen, grandson Richard O’Bara and great-grandson Joseph.

Funeral Services will be held from 5 p.m. to 9 p.m. Mar. 12 at Cofer-Kolski-Combs Funeral Home 10931 NE 6th Ave., Miami, with recitation of the Rosary at 7 p.m.

A funeral Mass will be celebrated Mar. 13 at 10 a.m. at St Rose of Lima Church, 415 NE 105 St., Miami Shores.

Donations in O’Bara’s name may be made to: The Edwarda O'Bara Fund, P.O. Box 693482, Miami, FL 33269-3482. For more information go to www.edwardaobara.com.

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OBITUARY

Kaye O’Bara, 80

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